Cross Cultural Experience - Ruth Van Reken

As members of an international school, Woodstock staff and students are always dealing with issues around moving between cultures. Many of us are "TCKs" (Third Culture Kids) - or TCAdults!. Others cross cultures simply by virtue of studying at Woodstock - which has its own distinct culture. Ruth Van Reken, an experienced writer and consultant and former colleague of Dave Pollock, pioneer in this field, spent four days at Woodstock helping us to understand and prepare more for these cross-cultural experiences. A complete article will feature in a few weeks in Brown & Gold (print and online). In the meantime, here are some reactions from staff. If you want to know more, Ruth's website is www.crossculturalkid.org You can read there about her books, including Letters never sent, her personal reflections on growing up as a TCK.

Ruth was refreshing in her approach. She facilitated superbly, relying heavily on comments from other people and supplementing with her own anecdotes - pithy tales of transition and cultural upheaval. The meeting in the Midlands recreation room was a tall order for any speaker, and I thought she held the audience very well. Quietly spoken tales made their mark. Having come from Africa to US, there was an encounter with a decent boy, who kindly pointed out that her enthusiastic conversation and social engagement might be construed as 'coming on' to a boy. Ruth was shocked at this. Her behaviour was normal in her eyes. Later at a tennis game a boy asked her home for coke. She hesitated and he said - do you think I am going to attack you? She felt stupid and joined him for a one on one coke. On entering his flat if became clear he was going to attack her, and she fled. Simple wisdom for your own protection has its place - teacher

The thing about finding out about peoples stories. Making story telling a priority in our community, particularly as staff so that we know and understand one another better, and by doing so we will be slower to condemn or criticise. Maybe we can have some story telling evenings in people's homes or times away to tell stories. The importance of recording the children's stories as they pass through the school. For children (my blood ones and the ones that I teach), facilitating rituals for remembering people, places and events as well as farewell rituals to benefit the children going as well as the children staying behind. - teacher & parent

The Student panel on Friday morning was really interesting, illuminating and well chaired. All the sessions were relevant and practical. She knew her subject and transmitted the knowledge in a helpful and positive way. - teacher

Besides the greater understanding of various types of transition that I got from her sessions I was also able to deal with some traumas that had caused me to "freeze" and made me unable to deal with everyday life. Obviously, it will take some time for complete healing to take place and for me to get back to "normal" however, even if I never use what I have learnt again in any other situation, this in itself has made the sessions worthwhile. Having said that, I don't think it is possible to have attended her sessions and not use what we have learnt in our every day life simply because of the nature of Woodstock and all the transitions one deals with, but also the transitions one deals with because of the tremendous changes that are taking place at Woodstock in organization structure, use of technology and in so many other facets of life. I would love to continue learning more about TCKs/CCKs, creating transition programs to help staff and students. - administrative staff member

I realized on Saturday that I am a foreigner in India and a hidden immigrant in the USA and that the only culture into which I fit without feeling an "outsider" is the Woodstock Culture. Quote me anonymously only, please. - alumnus/teacher

I had a wonderful time thinking and considering issues which I had always felt and "knew" at some gut level, but had never really explored - both for myself as a TCK and for the kids I work with. - residence supervisor/alumnus

It was well done and well received--having our kids tell their stories I think helped to make her points more personal and real. - teacher/alumna

It was good to be reminded about how my colleagues and students feel as they continually make transitions. However, I really appreciated her addressing the feelings that I face even though I am not the one moving. Her lovely manner and enthusiasm for the subject made the sessions very engaging and enjoyable. - teacher

I really connected to her statement that she has been "encouraged to death" but received little comfort through her times of transition. I realized that I too operate this way and while encouragement is very important, developing my comfort skills for myself and others is a new priority thanks to her visit. - teacher